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You before I.  

Following on my piece about loving one’self more

Midnight Madness.

Why is it always you before I.

You get your plate first, you get to pick first, you get to go first, you can have a lazy day, you can choose, you can go out.

And it’s always

I will do that, I’ll clean that up, I’ll put that away, I’ll pick that up on my way, I’ll cook that, I’ll plan dinner, I’ll feed the pets, I’ll wash the laundry.

Why do the good things always come after you!

I need better I’s, more fun I’s, more me I’s.

I need to start with me, do me, choose me, give to me, be me, and make myself happy!

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Lifestyle, Live, Uncategorized

How much talcum powder?

I was lucky enough to have grown up in a town that was multicultural. My friends were Australian aboriginals, Asians, Chinese, Greeks, anglo-Australians. Our names were Theodopolous’, Portaminis’, Chins, Nguyens and Johnsons but these differences did not divide us – we were just the Darwin bush mob. We were all just mates!

14291752_10210770476281166_5002246247429281277_nI never felt that I was anything else but just a Darwin girl. My skin colour did not determine who I was. My parents brought me up but a community raised me. As well as my parents, I called a Cypriot man, dad, an anglo- Australian woman from Alice Springs, mum. I had siblings who were part Aboriginal and part Japanese. Maori, Chinese and Torres Strait islander aunties and uncles and cousins, an uncle who arrived to Australia in the wheel carriage of a WW II aircraft, an auntie who was really an uncle (but damn she had good legs), my childhood was filled with different colours and different races but we didn’t see any of that – we were just family. This was the Australia I grew up in, but it worries me that the Australia my children will return to is not the same. Australia today, is a place where the hysteria of terrorism and politician’s voices have closed doors to acceptance. I am not saying that we should ignore the threat of violence to our shores but we have become a society that is scared and intolerable to what is different. We have gone back to the days of the ‘white Australia’ policy, days of old where a town like Darwin was segregated, where people were differentiated by their skin colour not their heart.

I remember my mother telling me the story of my younger sister, pouring a whole tub of talcum powder over herself because she wanted to be white like her godmother. She would have been just over a year old but she saw the difference in their colour and wanted to be like the woman she loved and admired. 305580_10150625647333546_1371428434_n.jpg

For those of us that have moved to Australia and want to make Australia our new home and for those of us that are second or third generation non-anglo Australian, how much talcum powder do we need to put on ourselves before we are again accepted for just who we are, and not our colour or religion? Because in the end, we just want to be loved and admired, just like you.

 

 

 

 

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Live, Travel, Uncategorized

The World’s Most Underrated Beaches – West Timor, Indonesia — The Mandagies

Recently I had the pleasure of hosting this lovely couple from Seattle, Washington and their wonderful friends. It was a delight. It has been a delight to read about their travels here in Indonesia. Please read about their recent adventure to Kupang in West Timor. Hope it inspires to visit the lesser known towns and provinces of Indonesia and GO BEYOND BALI!

Berty’s family and I decided to make the journey across the island and visit two remote beaches: Kolbano Beach and Oetune Beach. We wanted to check them out because Timor is much less populated than other islands in Indonesia, and we had a good chance of having them all to ourselves. (This also means great…

via The World’s Most Underrated Beaches – West Timor, Indonesia — The Mandagies

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Loss, Love, Relationships, Uncategorized

How soon is too soon?

losing-a-loved-one-to-suicide

A friend recently lost her husband and I am sad for her. I am sad because she lost her true love. I do hope though that one day she finds someone who will love her and care for her again. I hope one day she finds someone who will make her happy and put a smile back on her face.

And, I would like it to happen soon, I want her to be happy. This sentiment however, I don’t think is shared by many in our society. Some still think that there needs to be an acceptable period to grieve our loved one before we move on to the next love.

But how soon is too soon?

My life took a huge blow when I was 27 years old. I lost my baby in a tragic accident, I thought that pain was going to kill me but not long after that I was dealt another blow, the failure of my relationship. The loss of a child affects both parents differently – we grieve differently and in some cases this leads to the demise in the marriage or the relationship. The death of my relationship killed me emotionally. I was a complete wreck. I felt that I had nothing else to give and closed all doors to having another serious relationship forever!

Look, I’m not going to lie, I’m not a saint and I did have a few casual relationships to fill the void however how does one move on from losing the love of one’s life. They were my future, my whole existence at the time and losing both of them (my partner took his own life subsequently) seemed a cruel act of God that was unfathomable. Love, however, is stronger than grief. It breaks all barriers. I mean let’s look at Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet, the most classic love story there ever was (well besides Rhett and Scarlett) loved each so much that they broke away from their families and ultimately paid the price with their own lives, all for love. It seems if we are destined to loose someone we love at such a young age, then we are destined to re-find that love again in another person.

But how soon is too soon?

It doesn’t matter if the loss is through death or a marriage/relationship breakdown, we still grieve losing someone we once loved but this loss shouldn’t stop us from living the life intended for us. We need to be able to place that bandaid gently on the wound in our heart and let it heal. A scar will remain but the wound will eventually heal. Then we need to allow our heart to re-feel again. For some of us, it may take years for others months (I remember my friends being critical of a friend who started dating only a month after his wife died, he was happy and they are still happily married). We may not all be lucky enough to find another great love so soon. We may have to scrape that apple cart and dig deep to the find one that hasn’t been spoiled and for some this may never happen. But we need to give it a chance. And, just like anything else, you won’t know unless you try.

For everyone’s information, I found my other love 2 years later. He won my heart with lots of cups of tea and we are still together, currently living in Bali with our 2 gorgeous boys.

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Fashion, Love, Uncategorized, What I love

Tulle & Batiste (my secret little fashion find)

One of my favourite upcoming boutiques in Bali is this little gem – Tulle & Batiste on Jln Petitenget, Seminyak across the road from another favourite – Pison Coffee. I mean what more can a girl want? – coffee and cake on one side of the road and pretty frocks and accessories on the other. Well maybe if Saigon Street moved next door, then I would be in 7th heaven.

Aptly named as Tulle and Bastiste – tulle is a lightweight and very fine netting, most commonly used for veils and gowns where batiste is a fine cloth of cotton or linen for high-quality garments, it will definitely give it rivals a run for their money in the fashion stakes.

Tulle and Batiste offers vintage inspired collections of women’s clothing all personally designed and curated by Miftahul Jannah, with the love and support of her husband, Jeroen. Tulle and Batiste plays homage to the unique mystical empire of Bohemia. Designed for those who are charmed by Bohemia’s mental fairyland, as there are no roads in all of Bohemia. Where one must choose and find one’s own path, be one’s own self, love one’s own life. (Taken from their own website https://www.tulleandbatiste.com)

This new kid on the block has become one of my favourites, having acquired 3 gorgeous go-to pieces from them in the last 6 months (ssshhhh…don’t tell the hubby).  The next time you are in Bali check them out or pop on over to their online  or Instagram shop. The ship free anywhere overseas I noticed.

Stay stylish.

 

 

 

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